It’s a battle as old as time . . . dark versus light. And one that I’ve heard some talk of on the web, but never really HEARD and UNDERSTOOD – until now. I had another epiphany in my healing journey this morning (I tell you that if you haven’t bought Melanie Tonia Evans NARC program – it is SO WORTH THE MONEY!) I did the 4th Quatum Freedom Healing yesterday evening on dealing with the injustice and the lack of closure, and I felt better immediately after like always but this morning some more of the pieces finally fell into my lap. I know many of us spend a lot of time on the “Why did this happen to me” question. And at least for me, I think I’ve finally found that answer which had been eluding me for most of my life. I am an Empath!
I always knew something was different about me in general. My mother’s family was part “gypsy” so we always attributed our very limited psychic ability on that. My Aunt and cousin can “read the clouds” and even I have had a weird cloud reading experience regarding September 11th. Never had it before or after that. I could almost always feel bad things were coming, and sometimes death . . . but I could never tell you who, just that it was coming. I have a nearly perfect record of predicting the sex of babies my friends and family are carrying. And some weird spiritual connection I never understood or could explain without sounding like a crazy person. So I did what most people do with it . . . I ignored it for the most part. It wasn’t until last night as I watched Grey’s Anatomy with the eleven year old that I truly understood that I was an empath – and so is my eleven year old! I’ve known the eleven year old was on an unconscious level for a long time, but last night the full realization hit me as he cried over the episode with the bomb in the body cavity. And I realized he was picking up the emotional energy of the characters (which he has always had ability to do off of real people and tv). I found myself explaining to him what was happening and telling him he needed to learn to put up a wall against other people’s emotions to keep from being overwhelmed all the time. And this morning while lying in bed, the rest of the story dawned on me as I recalled reading about Empaths attacting Dark Souls somewhere in my research into what happened to me . . .
That is why this happened! Empaths are drawn naturally to these types of people and vice versa. Now I have my own theory on why this is that doesn’t quite agree with the other writers. Other people who have studied this think it is because we want to conquer the darkness. I don’t think that is it at all. We for the most part cannot see them coming. For all our psychic intuition, it doesn’t seem to apply to the dark souls of S/N/P’s. I think THAT is what attracts us to them! Everyone else we meet, we are overwhelmed by their emotional states as we “feel” what they feel most of the time. S/N/P’s have no real feelings. We are attracted to them, because they are the only people that don’t barage us with their emotions constantly! That is why our attraction to them is so deep. Of course they assist us in this with the love bombing and manipulation. But while I was lying in bed this morning I was thinking about what really attracted me to him, and I could remember how I LOVED being in his arms. It always felt so safe and comforting (before I knew what was going on). I think in a sense they were emotionally safe for us, as they had no real emotions for us to pick up on. They were our “shelter” in the storm. I think that is how they fool us so much. In order for me to pick up ANYTHING from him I had to really focus hard with a lot of effort – and even then it was hit or miss as he didn’t have the normal brainwaves that other humans have.
On the other hand, I think it is our empath nature that they find so attractive. We pick up everyone elses emotions as well as have our own. For emotional vampires, we are a natural smorgasboard! For them I suspect feeding off of us gives them the same amount of energy as 3-4 normal people. Why wouldn’t they be attracted to us? We have an overabundance of “supply” of what they lack. EMOTIONS.
So for me, maybe this is my “gift”. Learning what I am so that I can now learn how to manage it more effectively to no longer be a target for the dark souls on the planet.
What do you all think? Am I off base or did I stumble onto one of our unknown truths?